Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
