so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
