You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
