brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
