i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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