Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
