so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
