Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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