im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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