before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
