The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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