She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so let's talk penis.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
