I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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