Everything about him screamed your future.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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