i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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