No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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