bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The air taste purple.
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