I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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