He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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