We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
