I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
