well you can't waste a boner
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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