i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
