Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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