Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
