No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just googled if crying burns calories
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
