Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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