You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
