Porn is love you can see.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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