y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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