Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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