She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
