You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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