I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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