plz talk dirty to me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
