Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
