What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
