why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
