Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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