so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
