Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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