Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
