Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
