god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
