too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
