Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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