thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
