It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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