Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
