you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont even know how to be here
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
