You made me cry and you don't even care
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
