i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
